I've decided that I want a TV husband like the ones on dramas with female protagonists. And I'm not talking Darrin from Bewitched or Ricky from I Love Lucy. I want the ones who let their wives go out and take on the bad guys while they clean, cook and take care of the kids. These guys are angels!
If you've ever seen an episode of Medium or Ghost Whisperer, you'll know what I'm talking about. Both of the female leads are up half the night being visited by ghosts and then compelled to go investigate. Meanwhile, the husbands wait patiently at home, ostensibly going back to sleep so that they're functional at work the next day. (Although on Medium, Joe was unemployed for a while, so I suppose he could have come back home and napped after taking the kids to school.) There's no bitching about the girls being out all night or not pulling their share of the household chores or not spending enough time with the kids.
Which would be perfect for me. While I don't have kids yet, I do have a houseful of critters who need attention, which results in the house needing attention and a job that doesn't seem to know how to tell time. (Are all those 3 a.m. emails really necessary????) So sometimes I think a Stepford husband would be awesome. Maybe I'll just call CBS and NBC and ask them to send me Joe and/or Jim when Allison and Melinda are through with them.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Smoke and Mirrors
Recently, we hired an SVP of Hoodoo. She comes complete with a MBA, which of course around here makes her a Genius and the Smartest Person Alive.
She deigned to enlighten some of us who are apparently only apprentice witches (who mistakenly thought we were fully qualified years ago) through a meeting that was supposed to explain all about how her mad hoodoo skilz could make our brand of voodoo more powerful.
After an hour of what can only be described as puffery and bragging about various hexes and curses and how happy her clients were with the results, we still didn't have a clue about what she could do for us. We *know* that magic is the critical component to our industry. But access to the particular brand of hoodoo the SVP supposedly practices was cut along with a number of employees a couple of years ago.
What I would have like to hear from her is:
* What type of hexes and curses are available?
* How can I leverage a particular hex to motivate my clients to make the right decisions?
* Are voodoo dolls still effective or do I need to look at Voodoo 3.0 for more innovative executions?
And so on. Instead, we got insults about how un-insights-driven our work has been and she even had the cajones to take on another SVP (who has been in this industry for YEARS) and tell her how wrong her thinking was.
I'm sure as we move forward, I'll grow to respect her. But until then, I just think she's a huge witch who can kiss my asterisk.
She deigned to enlighten some of us who are apparently only apprentice witches (who mistakenly thought we were fully qualified years ago) through a meeting that was supposed to explain all about how her mad hoodoo skilz could make our brand of voodoo more powerful.
After an hour of what can only be described as puffery and bragging about various hexes and curses and how happy her clients were with the results, we still didn't have a clue about what she could do for us. We *know* that magic is the critical component to our industry. But access to the particular brand of hoodoo the SVP supposedly practices was cut along with a number of employees a couple of years ago.
What I would have like to hear from her is:
* What type of hexes and curses are available?
* How can I leverage a particular hex to motivate my clients to make the right decisions?
* Are voodoo dolls still effective or do I need to look at Voodoo 3.0 for more innovative executions?
And so on. Instead, we got insults about how un-insights-driven our work has been and she even had the cajones to take on another SVP (who has been in this industry for YEARS) and tell her how wrong her thinking was.
I'm sure as we move forward, I'll grow to respect her. But until then, I just think she's a huge witch who can kiss my asterisk.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
The Perils of Facebook
I'm going to steal a page out of Scissor Girl's blog because I need to vent. I have sort of a love/hate relationship with Facebook. It's fun to keep up with friends who live out of town, people I've met in other countries and well, colleagues who work in the other building. It's not so fun to read the updates from my ex-boyfriend's sister because I'm too much of a wuss to unfriend her. But it's always kinda balanced out.
But now I've been friended by several people in Upper Management. And I feel like I had to accept the request. Just to be clear, these are not people I've worked closely with and developed a great relationship with. These are people who don't really know me unless my name happened to be mentioned as an option during our layoff seasons.
Which makes this all a little bit creepy -- it feels like Facebook is starting to become Big Brother. It's not like I'm posting racy photos of myself (a. because there are none. and b. because that's something I wouldn't subject my worst enemy too -- I believe it's considered an act of terrorism in some countries). I also don't update my status that often and when I do, it's usually something pretty benign. The few times I've vented about work, I tried to make it so cryptic that one could tell I was frustrated, but couldn't really understand about what.
But now I feel like I have to be extra careful -- not just of what I write about myself, but also when I comment on my friends' status. I realize that I'm much more paranoid and neurotic than your average bear, but I like my privacy very much, thank you. It's sort of the same issue I have with drug testing. I don't do any, so it's not like I have to worry about that, but I don't like the idea that someone is using a bodily fluid to determine if I'm employable. And I don't like the fact that if I'm feeling a little bit snarky, I have to tone it down for fear that it will come back to haunt me the next time layoffs roll around.
But I guess this is the social part of social networking.
But now I've been friended by several people in Upper Management. And I feel like I had to accept the request. Just to be clear, these are not people I've worked closely with and developed a great relationship with. These are people who don't really know me unless my name happened to be mentioned as an option during our layoff seasons.
Which makes this all a little bit creepy -- it feels like Facebook is starting to become Big Brother. It's not like I'm posting racy photos of myself (a. because there are none. and b. because that's something I wouldn't subject my worst enemy too -- I believe it's considered an act of terrorism in some countries). I also don't update my status that often and when I do, it's usually something pretty benign. The few times I've vented about work, I tried to make it so cryptic that one could tell I was frustrated, but couldn't really understand about what.
But now I feel like I have to be extra careful -- not just of what I write about myself, but also when I comment on my friends' status. I realize that I'm much more paranoid and neurotic than your average bear, but I like my privacy very much, thank you. It's sort of the same issue I have with drug testing. I don't do any, so it's not like I have to worry about that, but I don't like the idea that someone is using a bodily fluid to determine if I'm employable. And I don't like the fact that if I'm feeling a little bit snarky, I have to tone it down for fear that it will come back to haunt me the next time layoffs roll around.
But I guess this is the social part of social networking.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Radiation: Day 4
We've made it almost through the first full week and so far, so good. As far as my dog knows, he just goes to an indoor playroom every day where he gets to hang out with other dogs most of the day and has to sleep for about 20 minutes. And we've gotten into a routine for leaving the house every morning that seems to work. I can live with this.
So on a totally unrelated note, I have to comment on the strange and wonderful thing that is children's literature. My sister has two small children, one of which is a five-year-old boy. Right now, he is completely fascinated with The Wind in the Willows. I was a little surprised when my sister told me this -- I was picturing a Beatrix Potter book with dainty tea parties, etc. I *know* that I've read this book somewhere along the line, but I must have blocked it. When she told me the plot, I suddenly understood why a young boy (and probably most young girls) would love it so much. Among the awesomeness within the story, there are:
* Multiple car thefts
* Police chases
* Arrest and trial
* Imprisonment
* At least one prison break
* Cross-dressing
* Fraud
* Weapons smuggling and procurement
* Epic battles
It's like all the best Hollywood blockbusters rolled into one! You know, if my mom read this to me as a child, it explains an awful lot!
So on a totally unrelated note, I have to comment on the strange and wonderful thing that is children's literature. My sister has two small children, one of which is a five-year-old boy. Right now, he is completely fascinated with The Wind in the Willows. I was a little surprised when my sister told me this -- I was picturing a Beatrix Potter book with dainty tea parties, etc. I *know* that I've read this book somewhere along the line, but I must have blocked it. When she told me the plot, I suddenly understood why a young boy (and probably most young girls) would love it so much. Among the awesomeness within the story, there are:
* Multiple car thefts
* Police chases
* Arrest and trial
* Imprisonment
* At least one prison break
* Cross-dressing
* Fraud
* Weapons smuggling and procurement
* Epic battles
It's like all the best Hollywood blockbusters rolled into one! You know, if my mom read this to me as a child, it explains an awful lot!
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