The Art of War

I belong to a tiny little martial arts club. We have four real members and about four others who show up every now and then. Today, three of us went to a tournament. Two of us (including me) were too nervous to sign up to fight. We've only been doing this a little over a year, so we didn't feel qualified. 

The one who did is one of the people I admire most right now. He is just now 21, has a two-year-old daughter and is living with his parents while he's trying to go to school. A while back, his mother got really, really sick, but they don't have insurance. So now they have no money. Needless to say, the odds are really stacked against him. One of my other classmates and I have been taking private lessons from him, both so that we can improve our skills, and also so that he can have money to attend our martial arts classes.

Today, he made us proud. He fought beautifully. He has skills way above his belt level and took on a much more experienced fighter.  And won. Despite all of the things that have to be going on in his mind, all of his worries and concerns, he was able to concentrate enough to do what he needed to do to win. He's putting the same amount of commitment and passion into school, because he wants to be a cop someday. He's seen some of the worst that many people can see and he still believes in working toward making the world a better place.

I don't think I'll ever be the fighter in the ring that he is. But I hope that I have the courage to fight to make things better that he does.

My Non-Date Part Deux

So just to wrap things up, because I don't like to leave things hanging, my movie excursion with the ex was not a date. I don't think. He bought dinner and the movie tickets, but there was nothing romantic whatsoever about the entire evening. That's not to say I didn't have a good time.

There is something very comforting about being with someone who has known you for 20 years and has seen you at your very worst and is still willing to hang out with you. And that as much crap as we've both been through, neither of us has really fundamentally changed. He's still the geeky comic book guy that doesn't seem to understand that I'm not all that fond of sci-fi unless there are hot actors involved and I'm still the idealist that tries to talk about stuff no one else cares about and he's patient enough to listen. Or at least pretend to, which is more than most people do.

I think we'll be friends. Not the soul mates I once thought we would be, but not strangers either. And it's good to have someone to hang out with.

A Non-Date

So, to follow up on an earlier post, eHarmony guy has vanished off the face of this earth, which oddly doesn't bother me. I'm not even suffering from a bruised ego. He was cute and seemed to have a generous nature (I'm basing this on him being a teacher and adopting a stray dog), but he did like sports a bit too much and he has the same name as my husband. Which would be ... well, awkward, in the long run.

But the ex on Facebook has stuck around and we're going to see a movie tonight. And I'm really not sure what that means or what I want it to mean. Up until now, our communications have been pretty un-romantic. (We've discussed Alexander the Great's military tactics and sexual politics, the general state of education in the U.S., why neither of us really cared about the Oscars, my work, his school, etc. -- you know, normal stuff.) The movie thing came up after we both decided that we really do want to see Slum Dog. He had asked me about another movie previously, but not in a hey-do-you-want-to-see-it-together way. So, bottom line is that we're going to see a movie tonight.

I actually didn't think too much about the whole situation until he asked about logistics, i.e., where to meet and when. Because we want to grab some food before the movie, I'm going right from work. So that leaves three options: him picking me up at work, me picking him up at his house or meeting at the theatre. So I suggested meeting him at the theatre. I mean, I'm not sure that this is technically a date, so if I was going with anyone else, that's what I would do.

So now, I'm starting to get a little unnerved. Which, given my levels of social anxiety, isn't really that hard to do. It's just that one of the reasons I've been so happy to talk to him is because I've been so comfortable with him. So hopefully once we're face to face, I'll be comfortable again. Otherwise, I have a feeling that I'm going to once again regret giving up red wine for Lent and wishing that I was at home with my dogs re-watching Season One of Prison Break for the 1oth time.