Playing Dumb

I'm not the smartest person on the planet and I don't always "get" things right away. But when I act like I don't understand something, it's because I really don't. My latest pet peeve is people playing clueless.

I realize that this has been around for decades, possibly centuries, but I've just started seeing it more and more at work. And we're not talking about people who pretend not to know what's going on for political reasons. I'm talking about those people who sit in meetings and nod in agreement to a request only to act completely clueless two days later when you ask them for what they promised. I can't decide whether it's laziness, forgetfullness or just sheer incompetence. But I do think it's an attempt to get out of certain tasks.

Can you imagine what a household would be like if everyone acted like that? Gee, I would have taken out the trash, but I don't know when the garbage truck comes, even though I've lived here FIVE YEARS. What? You're supposed to clean out the cat box? I thought the cat pooh fairy took care of that.

Sorry to rant. Too many faux idiots to deal with today. Maybe I'll just pretend like I don't speak English anymore. Que????

Serenity -- or the lack thereof

I was talking to a friend a couple of weeks ago about my summer of discontent, and she reminded me of the AA Serenity Prayer.

I don't seem to have a problem with the power to change what I can. What I can't seem to grasp is the accepting of the things I can't change and the wisdom to know the difference. Something deep inside of me just wants to scream that everything can be changed -- even if I know it's not true. And why do I have to accept that some things are just gonna suck? I know that to not accept it is futile -- a fight against a foe that can not only not be defeated, but probably not even be wounded.

Sometimes I want to blame this all on the media. That we're somehow promised happy endings. That the dragon will be tamed, the princess rescued and the kingdom lives in peace forever and ever. But even I know that's not true. There are certain movies I can't watch because I know they contain something that will upset me for days and news reports I can't listen to because I won't be able to sleep. Heck, I'm a vegetarian as a result of something I heard on NPR. So it's not that anyone is being brainwashed.

In the end, I think it's about focus, and maybe that's the point of the prayer. That you can focus on all of the negative things in the world that you can't affect, but then you won't have the energy for the things that you can. And in the end, it's what you do -- not what you worry about -- that really matters.

Maybe that's serenity.

Musings on Music

I heard once that people tend to stop listening to new music when they were in their early 20s, and that whatever musical taste they had acquired to that point was what they were stuck with. Thank goodness that wasn't the case for me, or my friends and co-workers would be subjected to really wretched heavy metal bands.

Now, I'm actually a little embarrassed about most of the bands I liked when I was younger. My parents still have a copy of The Scarlett Letter that has most of the words to several Motley Crue songs scribbled on the inside. And I remember telling anyone who would listen in high school that I was going to name my first child KK Downing after the lead guitarist in Judas Priest. OK, so Motley Crue is much more embarrassing than Judas Priest, but still.

I'd like to say that my musical taste has gotten more respectable, but I suspect not. I can't name a song in the Top 20 and I wasn't 100% sure who Beyonce was until she married Jay Z. In fact, I'd probably be older than most of the parents if I were to attend a concert for any of my favorite bands. Although if the band members themselves are about my age, does that make it OK? The brothers Leto anyone????

Anyone else have this issue? Please tell me I'm not alone in a teenage wasteland.

Weight Watchers Failure

So I've got some extra poundage I want to lose. My activity level is actually pretty high, so I decided I would tackle the giant pachyderm in the room that is my eating habits.

I know many, many people who swear by Weight Watchers, so I thought I would give them a try. Again. I attempted this years ago with my sister, who lost 15 pounds, while I gained 5. (The worst part was that she had to quit because she was pregnant -- and she still lost more weight than me!)

I can't do the meeting thing because it feels too much like AA. So I tried the online version. And it's just as bad as the meetings. Why is it that when I'm counting points, all I can think about is food? I've got 21 points allocated for the day. It's 11:15, and I'm well past 15. And I haven't even had lunch yet.

Why oh why am I the only one who can't get on this bus and stay on it? I'd chalk it up to discipline, but I've got plenty of discipline when it comes to running or karate. Just not food. And absolutely not Weight Watchers. Maybe it's the name. I don't want to watch my weight. I just want to ditch a few pounds and get on with my life.

Winding Down

Literally. Remember when you were a kid and you had stuffed animals with the little key you could wind up and they would sing to you? And then as it came to the end of the tension, the song would get slower and s-lo-w-e-r and s--l--o--w--e--r. Well, that's me today.

Spicy Chicken Wing, you were correct with your prediction, although the actual event went down yesterday. Makes the mood rather somber. I think everyone's got their fingers crossed that the Grim Reaper just walks right past their cube door. We've only got a couple of hours left before the weekend, right?

This Little Piggy

How I feel after lunch. Yep, I'm supposed to be on Weight Watchers, but that lasted about as long as it took the waiter to bring us the chips and black bean dip. At this rate, the watching is going to be observing the increase. Gahhh.

So, now I'm so just ready to go home. I've spent most of the morning cleaning out my Inbox and the rest of the time going through B Ark documents trying to figure out how to apply them to my clients. As if they care. As if I care. Why oh why am I not taking tomorrow off? Every now and then I try to comtemplate my value to the world as a whole. The ironic thing is that I've been struggling with this for years. And what I'm doing now is even more meaningless than anything I've EVER done. Not that I'm one of those people who feel like they have to change the world. I'd just like to leave something more than a worthless piece of paper in the ether describing something no one cares about.

But then again, there's always tomorrow....