Serenity -- or the lack thereof

I was talking to a friend a couple of weeks ago about my summer of discontent, and she reminded me of the AA Serenity Prayer.

I don't seem to have a problem with the power to change what I can. What I can't seem to grasp is the accepting of the things I can't change and the wisdom to know the difference. Something deep inside of me just wants to scream that everything can be changed -- even if I know it's not true. And why do I have to accept that some things are just gonna suck? I know that to not accept it is futile -- a fight against a foe that can not only not be defeated, but probably not even be wounded.

Sometimes I want to blame this all on the media. That we're somehow promised happy endings. That the dragon will be tamed, the princess rescued and the kingdom lives in peace forever and ever. But even I know that's not true. There are certain movies I can't watch because I know they contain something that will upset me for days and news reports I can't listen to because I won't be able to sleep. Heck, I'm a vegetarian as a result of something I heard on NPR. So it's not that anyone is being brainwashed.

In the end, I think it's about focus, and maybe that's the point of the prayer. That you can focus on all of the negative things in the world that you can't affect, but then you won't have the energy for the things that you can. And in the end, it's what you do -- not what you worry about -- that really matters.

Maybe that's serenity.