In Memoriam

I'm not good with serious posts as I really think blogging works best with sarcasm, humor or at least positive insights. But today being what it is, I'm going to try to write something meaningful that will hopefully be uplifting rather than depressing.

Today is the 6th anniversary (how I hate using that word in this context) of my beloved husband's death. I decided a couple of years ago that I would try to use the day to remember the wonderful person he was and that it was a blessing to have had him in my life, even if it was cut short too soon. Unfortunately due to the transient nature of our lives and work, most people I'm close to these days never had the chance to meet him or know him all that well. So here goes -- my post to the kindest, most gentle and generous soul I have ever known.

Chris and I had known each other about 6 months or so before he asked me out. My friends and I frequented the bar he worked at, so I got to know him gradually. One night, two of my friends had a really bad fight (a misunderstanding over a guy naturally) and for whatever reason, while they were in the bathroom yelling at each other, he asked me out. The odd thing is, that night ended one of my long-term friendships (I never really get over how badly one friend treated the other over something so stupid) and started another.

From the very beginning, we got along beautifully. I think we decided by date 3, which was 3 days after the first date, that we needed to be exclusive. Shortly after we started dating, I made a major career change, which he questioned (as did everyone), but fully supported once he understood that it was something I really wanted. Because my new job was with a startup, my hours and responsibilities were crazy -- sometimes all nighters and always late night. He certainly expressed concern for my welfare and that he missed me, but he was still supportive of me. He made gourmet sandwiches for my lunch and cooked supper when I got home, no matter how late.

We moved in together with his cat about 9 months after we started dating. Because we both had a love for animals, we picked up and found homes for numerous strays before we got a dog of our own. At one point, our cat was diagnosed with diabetes and Chris diligently gave him insulin shots twice a day for the next 6 years. When we eventually got another dog, it was a rescue dog that bit Chris so badly that he had a scar on his nose, but he refused to give up on her.

Some time after we had been dating for about 4 years, the question of marriage began to surface. Our families were asking about it. Our friends were curious. We were terrified. We had a great life together. Why fix what ain't broke? And then we started talking about the future. We both wanted a house. Kids. And we figured out that getting married was the right first step. I think if it would have been up to Chris, he would have chosen a JP office visit or a trip to Vegas. He was never one for much of a fuss. But because he knew what it meant to me, he went through with the big church wedding, complete with 5 attendants on each side.

We had a fantastic marriage for the next year and a half. And then one Sunday morning in late April six years ago, I got the call. And two days later, it was all over. I was left alone with our life.

I miss him every day of my life and probably always will. But I'm forever grateful that this wonderfully kind soul and truly great human being was a part of my life. So, Chris, today is for you. I'll light a candle for you tonight and drink a toast in your honor. Because true love is always alive in our hearts.