I've decided that I want a TV husband like the ones on dramas with female protagonists. And I'm not talking Darrin from Bewitched or Ricky from I Love Lucy. I want the ones who let their wives go out and take on the bad guys while they clean, cook and take care of the kids. These guys are angels!
If you've ever seen an episode of Medium or Ghost Whisperer, you'll know what I'm talking about. Both of the female leads are up half the night being visited by ghosts and then compelled to go investigate. Meanwhile, the husbands wait patiently at home, ostensibly going back to sleep so that they're functional at work the next day. (Although on Medium, Joe was unemployed for a while, so I suppose he could have come back home and napped after taking the kids to school.) There's no bitching about the girls being out all night or not pulling their share of the household chores or not spending enough time with the kids.
Which would be perfect for me. While I don't have kids yet, I do have a houseful of critters who need attention, which results in the house needing attention and a job that doesn't seem to know how to tell time. (Are all those 3 a.m. emails really necessary????) So sometimes I think a Stepford husband would be awesome. Maybe I'll just call CBS and NBC and ask them to send me Joe and/or Jim when Allison and Melinda are through with them.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Smoke and Mirrors
Recently, we hired an SVP of Hoodoo. She comes complete with a MBA, which of course around here makes her a Genius and the Smartest Person Alive.
She deigned to enlighten some of us who are apparently only apprentice witches (who mistakenly thought we were fully qualified years ago) through a meeting that was supposed to explain all about how her mad hoodoo skilz could make our brand of voodoo more powerful.
After an hour of what can only be described as puffery and bragging about various hexes and curses and how happy her clients were with the results, we still didn't have a clue about what she could do for us. We *know* that magic is the critical component to our industry. But access to the particular brand of hoodoo the SVP supposedly practices was cut along with a number of employees a couple of years ago.
What I would have like to hear from her is:
* What type of hexes and curses are available?
* How can I leverage a particular hex to motivate my clients to make the right decisions?
* Are voodoo dolls still effective or do I need to look at Voodoo 3.0 for more innovative executions?
And so on. Instead, we got insults about how un-insights-driven our work has been and she even had the cajones to take on another SVP (who has been in this industry for YEARS) and tell her how wrong her thinking was.
I'm sure as we move forward, I'll grow to respect her. But until then, I just think she's a huge witch who can kiss my asterisk.
She deigned to enlighten some of us who are apparently only apprentice witches (who mistakenly thought we were fully qualified years ago) through a meeting that was supposed to explain all about how her mad hoodoo skilz could make our brand of voodoo more powerful.
After an hour of what can only be described as puffery and bragging about various hexes and curses and how happy her clients were with the results, we still didn't have a clue about what she could do for us. We *know* that magic is the critical component to our industry. But access to the particular brand of hoodoo the SVP supposedly practices was cut along with a number of employees a couple of years ago.
What I would have like to hear from her is:
* What type of hexes and curses are available?
* How can I leverage a particular hex to motivate my clients to make the right decisions?
* Are voodoo dolls still effective or do I need to look at Voodoo 3.0 for more innovative executions?
And so on. Instead, we got insults about how un-insights-driven our work has been and she even had the cajones to take on another SVP (who has been in this industry for YEARS) and tell her how wrong her thinking was.
I'm sure as we move forward, I'll grow to respect her. But until then, I just think she's a huge witch who can kiss my asterisk.
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
The Perils of Facebook
I'm going to steal a page out of Scissor Girl's blog because I need to vent. I have sort of a love/hate relationship with Facebook. It's fun to keep up with friends who live out of town, people I've met in other countries and well, colleagues who work in the other building. It's not so fun to read the updates from my ex-boyfriend's sister because I'm too much of a wuss to unfriend her. But it's always kinda balanced out.
But now I've been friended by several people in Upper Management. And I feel like I had to accept the request. Just to be clear, these are not people I've worked closely with and developed a great relationship with. These are people who don't really know me unless my name happened to be mentioned as an option during our layoff seasons.
Which makes this all a little bit creepy -- it feels like Facebook is starting to become Big Brother. It's not like I'm posting racy photos of myself (a. because there are none. and b. because that's something I wouldn't subject my worst enemy too -- I believe it's considered an act of terrorism in some countries). I also don't update my status that often and when I do, it's usually something pretty benign. The few times I've vented about work, I tried to make it so cryptic that one could tell I was frustrated, but couldn't really understand about what.
But now I feel like I have to be extra careful -- not just of what I write about myself, but also when I comment on my friends' status. I realize that I'm much more paranoid and neurotic than your average bear, but I like my privacy very much, thank you. It's sort of the same issue I have with drug testing. I don't do any, so it's not like I have to worry about that, but I don't like the idea that someone is using a bodily fluid to determine if I'm employable. And I don't like the fact that if I'm feeling a little bit snarky, I have to tone it down for fear that it will come back to haunt me the next time layoffs roll around.
But I guess this is the social part of social networking.
But now I've been friended by several people in Upper Management. And I feel like I had to accept the request. Just to be clear, these are not people I've worked closely with and developed a great relationship with. These are people who don't really know me unless my name happened to be mentioned as an option during our layoff seasons.
Which makes this all a little bit creepy -- it feels like Facebook is starting to become Big Brother. It's not like I'm posting racy photos of myself (a. because there are none. and b. because that's something I wouldn't subject my worst enemy too -- I believe it's considered an act of terrorism in some countries). I also don't update my status that often and when I do, it's usually something pretty benign. The few times I've vented about work, I tried to make it so cryptic that one could tell I was frustrated, but couldn't really understand about what.
But now I feel like I have to be extra careful -- not just of what I write about myself, but also when I comment on my friends' status. I realize that I'm much more paranoid and neurotic than your average bear, but I like my privacy very much, thank you. It's sort of the same issue I have with drug testing. I don't do any, so it's not like I have to worry about that, but I don't like the idea that someone is using a bodily fluid to determine if I'm employable. And I don't like the fact that if I'm feeling a little bit snarky, I have to tone it down for fear that it will come back to haunt me the next time layoffs roll around.
But I guess this is the social part of social networking.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Radiation: Day 4
We've made it almost through the first full week and so far, so good. As far as my dog knows, he just goes to an indoor playroom every day where he gets to hang out with other dogs most of the day and has to sleep for about 20 minutes. And we've gotten into a routine for leaving the house every morning that seems to work. I can live with this.
So on a totally unrelated note, I have to comment on the strange and wonderful thing that is children's literature. My sister has two small children, one of which is a five-year-old boy. Right now, he is completely fascinated with The Wind in the Willows. I was a little surprised when my sister told me this -- I was picturing a Beatrix Potter book with dainty tea parties, etc. I *know* that I've read this book somewhere along the line, but I must have blocked it. When she told me the plot, I suddenly understood why a young boy (and probably most young girls) would love it so much. Among the awesomeness within the story, there are:
* Multiple car thefts
* Police chases
* Arrest and trial
* Imprisonment
* At least one prison break
* Cross-dressing
* Fraud
* Weapons smuggling and procurement
* Epic battles
It's like all the best Hollywood blockbusters rolled into one! You know, if my mom read this to me as a child, it explains an awful lot!
So on a totally unrelated note, I have to comment on the strange and wonderful thing that is children's literature. My sister has two small children, one of which is a five-year-old boy. Right now, he is completely fascinated with The Wind in the Willows. I was a little surprised when my sister told me this -- I was picturing a Beatrix Potter book with dainty tea parties, etc. I *know* that I've read this book somewhere along the line, but I must have blocked it. When she told me the plot, I suddenly understood why a young boy (and probably most young girls) would love it so much. Among the awesomeness within the story, there are:
* Multiple car thefts
* Police chases
* Arrest and trial
* Imprisonment
* At least one prison break
* Cross-dressing
* Fraud
* Weapons smuggling and procurement
* Epic battles
It's like all the best Hollywood blockbusters rolled into one! You know, if my mom read this to me as a child, it explains an awful lot!
Monday, September 28, 2009
Radiation: Day 1
This is actually NOT a post about zombies, although that might be fun at some point. Considering I work with quite a few. :)
Today is my beloved puppy's first day of radiation therapy. To keep my anxiety at a manageable level, I thought I'd list all the (non-medical) benefits of us going through this.
1) Totally HOT vet. OK, forget the fact that he's probably 15 years younger than me and married -- I'm not interested in dating him, but it's nice to have eye candy when you're panicked about your dog's health.
2) Tons of Puppy Playtime. Before and after the treatment, all of the dogs there get to roam free and play in the back office of the clinic. So it's almost like an in-door dog park.
3) Company for the Commute. It was kind of fun to have a companion in the car this morning. The clinic is very close to my work, so I had company for most of the drive.
4) Hard Stop in the Evenings. Like most of us in this business, I could work 24 hours a day and still have stuff to do. But now, I'll be like my co-workers with kids -- I HAVE to leave by 5:30 because I have to pick him up before 6. Like them, I'll probably still go home and work a little more, but at least it's a change of scenery.
So a little less snark today and a bit more optimism for me. I'll never be a Pollyanna, but constant nihilism gets a little old too.
Today is my beloved puppy's first day of radiation therapy. To keep my anxiety at a manageable level, I thought I'd list all the (non-medical) benefits of us going through this.
1) Totally HOT vet. OK, forget the fact that he's probably 15 years younger than me and married -- I'm not interested in dating him, but it's nice to have eye candy when you're panicked about your dog's health.
2) Tons of Puppy Playtime. Before and after the treatment, all of the dogs there get to roam free and play in the back office of the clinic. So it's almost like an in-door dog park.
3) Company for the Commute. It was kind of fun to have a companion in the car this morning. The clinic is very close to my work, so I had company for most of the drive.
4) Hard Stop in the Evenings. Like most of us in this business, I could work 24 hours a day and still have stuff to do. But now, I'll be like my co-workers with kids -- I HAVE to leave by 5:30 because I have to pick him up before 6. Like them, I'll probably still go home and work a little more, but at least it's a change of scenery.
So a little less snark today and a bit more optimism for me. I'll never be a Pollyanna, but constant nihilism gets a little old too.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain
One of the things I used to like about my job was my relative anonymity. Oh, I'd present stuff at client meetings, but I had so little contact with any individual that they probably didn't remember me from one meeting to the next.
That's changed a lot with my new responsibilities. In fact, I spent about six weeks straight in face-to-face meetings. And with a recent project, I've had almost daily contact with one person in particular.
So imagine my surprise when, in a conference call with said client and her boss, she acted like she had no idea who I was. Part of the problem was that her boss disagreed with the direction she had taken us in, so I think she was CYA by acting like we just appeared out of nowhere with these crazy recommendations.
Initially I was really upset about the meeting and her attitude. But as I remember that our industry is really about creating illusions, I guess it's just part of the game. I'm more than happy to stay behind the smoke and mirrors.
That's changed a lot with my new responsibilities. In fact, I spent about six weeks straight in face-to-face meetings. And with a recent project, I've had almost daily contact with one person in particular.
So imagine my surprise when, in a conference call with said client and her boss, she acted like she had no idea who I was. Part of the problem was that her boss disagreed with the direction she had taken us in, so I think she was CYA by acting like we just appeared out of nowhere with these crazy recommendations.
Initially I was really upset about the meeting and her attitude. But as I remember that our industry is really about creating illusions, I guess it's just part of the game. I'm more than happy to stay behind the smoke and mirrors.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Teenage Angst-Land
Over the weekend, I read a really humorous take on the Twilight series and saw a promo for the new Vampire Diaries show on the CW and it got me started thinking. Why in the world would a 100+ year-old vampire want to (a) go to high school and (b) date a teenage girl?
Now, I'm not using this to slam Twilight -- it's really an honest question. (Buffy did it, too, and I actually liked that show, although it makes more sense since she is in fact a slayer.) Marketing-wise, I know why -- teenage girls want to read about teenage girls. But what I mean is logic-wise.
Maybe it was just me, but I hated high school. The idea of going back there again is horrifying. Especially if you were older and wiser. I mean, you put up with the BS when you were there because you just didn't know any better. I would think that someone with 100+ years of being around people would spend the entire time rolling their eyes.
And then there's the teenage girl aspect. I'm not expecting vampires to hang out in geriatric facilities, but really? You want to hang out all day long with someone whose biggest concern is who she's going to prom with and what she's going to wear? Remember, you've been around through two World Wars, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, two Gulf Wars, the depression, the Cold War, desegregation, just to name a few. What in the world would you talk about? I guess angsty feelings would probably be something you have in common. Maybe you could listen to Pearl Jam together and talk about how cruel the world is.
I know you should really leave logic out of the picture when you're discussing teenage vampire stories. And I probably should just not even think about things that aren't designed to appeal to me. But let's face it -- what better way to avoid my own angst. ;)
Now, I'm not using this to slam Twilight -- it's really an honest question. (Buffy did it, too, and I actually liked that show, although it makes more sense since she is in fact a slayer.) Marketing-wise, I know why -- teenage girls want to read about teenage girls. But what I mean is logic-wise.
Maybe it was just me, but I hated high school. The idea of going back there again is horrifying. Especially if you were older and wiser. I mean, you put up with the BS when you were there because you just didn't know any better. I would think that someone with 100+ years of being around people would spend the entire time rolling their eyes.
And then there's the teenage girl aspect. I'm not expecting vampires to hang out in geriatric facilities, but really? You want to hang out all day long with someone whose biggest concern is who she's going to prom with and what she's going to wear? Remember, you've been around through two World Wars, the Korean War, the Vietnam War, two Gulf Wars, the depression, the Cold War, desegregation, just to name a few. What in the world would you talk about? I guess angsty feelings would probably be something you have in common. Maybe you could listen to Pearl Jam together and talk about how cruel the world is.
I know you should really leave logic out of the picture when you're discussing teenage vampire stories. And I probably should just not even think about things that aren't designed to appeal to me. But let's face it -- what better way to avoid my own angst. ;)
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